Sunday Times: Gay Marry In Haste...

Because every public event must now resemble The X Factor, a number of couples were competing to star in Britain’s first gay marriage: each wedding had an official waiting in a side room to press a button that connected to the general register office, which I imagine lit up to the sound of Let It Go as each marriage rang through.

But how to decide which wedding would truly embody this new phase of equality? How many gay points for having Peter Tatchell as a witness (Islington), for example? Or for holding your wedding in Camden (Camden)? For having the London Gay Men’s Chorus sing Come The Day (with hand gestures) as celebrity keyboardist Rick Wakeman, composer of Henry VIII On Ice, operated one of the biggest pipe organs in the country (the South Bank)? In the end there was no contest. Brighton has been gay since before Islington was born...

The Sunday Times.

Wake me when this nightmare's over.

If I see another photo of some grinning smug poshgays I swear I'll do time.

PS Except we can see their faces now, so maybe that's another MILESTONE for gay rights.