Leading Catholic Bloke: New Year Resolution

A leading Catholic leader has promised not to make any stupid and offensive comments about gay marriage in 2013, Fagburn can reveal.
In an exclusive interview, Vincent O'Bigot, the Archbishop of Westfield Shopping Centre, said; "I thought maybe it'd be best if I stopped talking about things that I know nothing about for a bit.
"I'm a bachelor for Christ's sake, hardly the first person you'd go to for advice on marriage.
"I've also started to feel really uneasy about the Catholic Church making statements about morality after that huge child abuse cover-up thing.
"And the Pope was in Hitler Youth FFS!
"It's also slowly dawned on me that demonising and stirring up hatred against a group of people isn't very... Christian, is it?
"I know I'm an archbishop, but really, who am I to preach?"

PS The Archbishop of Westminster has urged Catholics to write to their MPs expressing their fears about gay marriage, and how it will lead to lessons about bumming being made compulsory in schools or something.

Marriage: Abnormal Service Has Been Resumed

What a strange subject for a leading Christian to speak about in his sermon on Christmas Day - the time of goodwill to all men.
Except poofs, obviously.

Technically though this quote from an interview with ITN, which most media seized on is, of course, true; "Frankly, the process is shambolic. There was no announcement in any party manifesto; there's been no green paper; there's been no statement in the Queen's speech. And yet here we are on the verge of primary legislation. From a democratic point of view, it's a shambles."
Perhaps next year we will finally find out how and why this policy suddenly appeared from nowhere to become such a Tory totem?

PS "By a margin of 2-1, people oppose the Government's proposal to make it illegal for the Church of England to conduct gay marriages. Asked whether its vicars should be allowed to perform such ceremonies if they wanted to, 62 per cent of people said they should and 31 per cent disagreed, with seven per cent replying "don't know".' The Independent.
The Indy also ran an editorial criticising the Archbishop of Westminster's unchristmassy message.
Schnore!