Lockheed Martin: Bums Away!

Lockheed Martin, makers of all those simply divine but oh so butch weapons systems, is one of the many reasons I’m proud to live in the free world (And while it’s far from the only reason, it may very well be the stupidest!)

Not only do I love their lethal weapons (!!!), but I’m also a big fan of their business model because of the major emphasis it places on social justice and environmental responsibility. I have a hunch that I’m probably not the only one in the bumder community who loves Lockheed Martin, but I digress...

Well, today — as though any of us needed another reason to love Lockheed Martin — the company went and did this: to show support for the push to legalise same-sex marriage in the United Kingdom of England, they announced that it was renaming its legendary Trident Missile.

The new name? TriBent Missile!

Geddit?

Bombs will now come in pink cannisters displaying a wedding cake with a cake topper featuring a gay couple spitroasting a unicorn under a rainbow-coloured mushroom cloud.

Isn't that adorable?

But best of all you can pretend you're doing something just by sitting back and clapping like a monkey while you watch their profits soar. 

This is a company that really gets it.

PS Oh, apparently Lockheed Martin have only symbolically renamed their Trident Missiles, and none of the above is actually happening, they just wanted some free publicity that made them seem nice.
Happy to oblige, sir! Happy to oblige.

Census 2011: 1-1 To The Man

I sent my census form back, writing on the envelope "I will not take part in this Lockheed Martin, I hate state snoopery."
They sent it back with the "Your census response is required by law" line ringed.
On reflection, I have decided I can't risk a £1,000 fine - but thankfully Peace News have produced the following handy guide;
'How to Fill In Your Census Form without Lockheed Martin Profiting'
"Lots of people are angry that the UK 'Census has, once again, been awarded to blood-soaked arms dealer Lockheed Martin. The following anonymous article sent to PN explains how you can fill in your Census form without benefiting Lockheed Martin or creating funding problems for local authorities..."
Now read on.