Advertising: Today

Alright, John Lewis, you got me. Like many other millions of people I was been enchanted by Monty The Penguin in your latest Christmas campaign. Yes, I cried. But after composing myself, something dawned on me. I turned to my boyfriend, and said: “Out of all the couples depicted, not one of them was same-sex.”  ...

'What do we want? A gay penguin couple in a John Lewis ad! When do we want it? Next christmas!'

So breath-taking in its banality it could only be... The Independent!

And next week on Independent Voices: Why oh why don't the WWI soldiers in Sainsburys Xmas ad go gay? #homophobia