Though, I did once interview Mr Read on the eve of his musical about Oscar Wilde - which was so famously good it was cancelled after the first night.
Mike struck me as one of the thickest people I've ever had the misfortune to interview - and I've interviewed Steps and Brett from Suede.
Mike launched into a spirited celebration of celebrity nonces, citing Oscar Wilde in their defence.
Mike tried to explain - very badly - that he couldn't have had Relax banned from BBC Radio 1, even if he'd wanted to.
Anyway, Fagburn thinks Ukip should send out free downloads of Ukip Calypso - U2-style - to every household in this sceptered isle, instead of publishing a manifesto for the next general election.
But please don't thank me if you win.
• Saturday Morning Superstore screengrab via Dan Hollingsworth. The look of contempt on gay Gordon Kaye's face is priceless, x
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