James MIddleton Watch: Something To Tell You

Umm...

James Middleton Watch: Time To Ditch The Beard

Asked during an interview to promote his cake-making business last year whether he had considered proposing, James remarked incredulously: 'Am I getting married? What a ridiculous question! Um, we're enjoying our relationship as it is now.'
 
As for Donna, she hardly ever mentions James by name. And of their relationship, she once commented: 'I don't feel like it is high-profile because James and I don't court publicity.

'We don't have a big showbiz celebrity life in any sense.'

James, 28, has rarely broached the subject of his romance with Donna publicly - apart from that rare interview - and the couple tended to go to great lengths to not be seen out together, apart from at public events...

Daily Mail.

James Middleton: #gaycode

Und! 'Pink, Puffy, Cloying' Hmm...

Daily Mail: Come On Kate, Show Us You Care!

The Duchess of Cambridge has broken a worldwide celebrity protest after secretly attending a wedding at a hotel owned by the controversial Sultan of Brunei.

The 32-year-old slipped in and out the underground car park of the Dorchester Hotel inside a blacked-out people carrier - in the hope her presence would not be noticed.

The Mayfair hotel has been the focus of a worldwide boycott backed by the likes of Stephen Fry, Anna Wintour and Sir Richard Branson, all of whom have voiced their opposition to harsh new Islamic laws in Brunei that have increased the punishment for homosexuality to death by stoning...

Daily Mail.

Cause our beloved Royal Family are normally such great moral agents - and they never support dodgy regimes and tyrants, yah?

Remember all their snubs to the 41 Commonwealth countries where homosexuality is still illegal?

No?

This must have caused some brains to explode at yesterday's editorial meeting at Mail HQ.

'Why has gorgeous Kate not joined the vacuous celebrity boycott of this nasty foreign-type who we don't like either?'

'You'd think this silly little rich girl would be a shoo-in for this upper class revolt.'

Only in a highly depoliticised (gay) culture could something like this be thought to be of any consequence.

The Sultan meets the  in-laws. Your turn next, Kate!
UK arms exports to Brunei.

James Middleton: The Digested Read

Nice beard!

James has a beard too, not a shaggy Brad Pitt one but a regal affair, with up-swirling curlicues, which he likes “to twizzle”. He looks like Tsar Nicholas II (“God don’t, everyone keeps saying that,”) down to the heavy lids and pronounced eyebrows...

Like his sisters, he attended Marlborough College. “I didn’t struggle but I wasn’t at the top of the year, in fact I was pretty much at the bottom..."

For the past year, Middleton has been in a relationship with the presenter Donna Air. “Am I getting married? What a ridiculous question. Um, we’re enjoying our relationship as it is now. We’ve made no future plans, but then I couldn’t see myself doing marshmallows a year ago.

“If you’d asked me what I would be doing this time next year, it wouldn’t have been marshmallows because I hadn’t had the idea, so things can turn round quickly. But I’m 26. I’m young. She’s 34…” he struggles for a moment as if to remember, “or maybe 33.”

A gripping interview with James Middleton in the Evening Standard - the talented Master Middleton has a new instagram/marshmallow venture, Boomf!

Royal News: James Middleton Pictured With Beard!

Well done James!
Fagburn's trying to think if he's seen a photo of you with a beard before.

Eddie Mair: She Wins A Gong!

Sony Awards Speech Broadcaster Of The Year!
Well deserved, sir.
Fagburn sets his day around PM. 
Aha! etc etc.

PS I'm mainly posting this cause if I mention our Eddie I get loads of traffic from people who've Googled "Eddie Mair gay". Was there ever any doubt?

PPS This also works with Tom Daley.

PPPS And James Middleton. 

James Middleton: Scurrilous Rumours

Can there be a more perfect person for a fawning Daily Mail weekend profile than James Middleton, international playboy, enterpreneur, one of Britain's most confirmed eligible bachelors, and - but of course - brother to the radiant Kate and the beautfully-bottomed young party planner, Pippa?
But, and even better for the Mail, he is a man of which we know little.
Though there has been a lot of "tittle-tattle" written about him (often in the Mail, but we'll gloss over that).
Happily, James will now put the record straight.
He's not really a "hellraiser", despite those pictures that appeared online and in the press of him and some chums at a party in various states of undress.

One of the images appeared to show him using a hairdryer on his pubic hair. Another saw him sitting naked, by a fireplace, holding a bottle of lager. In a third photograph, he bared a waxed chest and well-toned upper body, with one hand covering his modesty. [He was also pictured in drag - FB].
Perhaps the most memorable shot showed Middleton and three male companions, with their trousers and underpants round their ankles, standing with their backs to camera on a leafy rural road. A nearby road sign proclaimed: ‘Back Lane.’ Lawyers hired by the Middleton family successfully instructed newspapers never to re-publish the images, which had leaked via a Facebook account with inadequate security settings. But, inevitably, they have endured in cyberspace. And old reputations die hard...

"Out-of-character", say friends. 
"He’s actually the reverse of a party animal" says one, "quiet and a little bit shy. One of his hobbies is beekeeping, which speaks volumes."
Doesn't it, just? 

But if James has sometimes played hard, he works bloody hard, too, "he claims to work 14-hour days" at his two cake businesses.
And no, he's not been bankrolled by the multi-millionaire Ma and Pa Middletons.
It is mere convenience that means he operates from their business compound in Berkshire, his cakes are sold through their Party pieces website, and it seems they've secured his business debts - handy, as it's currently trading at a (small) loss.
Oh, and he also lives rent-free at a million pound pad they bought in Chelsea. 
And no, James hasn't been considering a role in Made In Chelsea.
"'Just a typical, speculated rumour’ of the sort his family has sadly become ‘so used to’."
Poor show, evil newspapers!
But what about the "scurrilous rumours" we've heard about young master James being a big old gay?

A failure to live up to the ‘It-boy’ stereotype by falling out of nightclubs with blondes on each arm has seen James endure widespread speculation about his sexuality. After he gave the reading at sister Kate’s 2011 Royal Wedding, web forums buzzed with chatter.
James has never publicly discussed his private life, on the grounds that it would open a Pandora’s Box. But one of his closest friends — who was authorised by Middleton to speak to me — described the suggestion that he is gay as ‘ridiculous’.
‘Believe me,’ she said, ‘anyone who has known James for any length of time would know that’s nonsense. He’s just a heterosexual 25-year-old who is in no rush to couple up and seems happy with the single life.'
Another friend said: ‘If you’ve ever heard James talk privately about girls, you’d know he’s not gay. But he’s not that bothered by the rumours, either. He’s quite “meterosexual” so, in a way, he takes it as a compliment.’

Jolly glad to hear it.
Can our near blue-blooded bachelor boy stay single for long?

Royal News: And You, You Could Be Queen

Mail On Sunday.

Next up, Tom Daley's new girlfriend.
[Coughs theatrically, tries not to die laughing].

James Middleton: Is Kate's Brother A Big Gayer Or What?

It's the question everyone's asking!

That's that settled.
Further conclusive evidence here.

Update: I had posted a photo of Mr Middleton in drag but curiously this has since been removed from the internet. Of course, dressing up in drag when drunk is far from a sure sign of being gay - it's something straight public school boys rugger bugger-types think is quite a laugh.
The above photo shows James proudly showing off a big pink cake he has made - for that is what he does for a living.
He is a cake decorator.