Doctor Who: What?

Dear The Independent,

Three (3) people made that complaint in an 18 month period.

This is so statistically insignificant 'one in ten million viewers complained' doesn't come close.

Thus THIS IS NOT FUCKING NEWSWORTHY!

Someone even complained that Miranda made fun of tall women FFS.

Good day, and have a happy new year.

x

PS Fagburn is still on holiday, but by Jesus Christ and Christopher Biggins.

Doctor Who: Lizard

DM Reporter on the Daily Mail's take on the Doctor Who 'lesbian kiss' that technically wasn't a kiss or lesbian or controversial.

Ofcom received twice as many complaints - a massive 13 - about Great British Bake Off's baked alaska Bingate 'scandal'.

PS Richard Littlejohn is his usual clueless self in his Daily Mail column on Tuesday - illustrated with the incredibly witty and clever cartoon below.

Doctor Who in homophobia row over lesbian lizard kiss. There’s a headline you don’t expect to read every day.

Gay rights campaigners [Eh?] are bouncing up and down with indignation after the BBC removed a scene in which a lesbian lizard woman called Madame Vastra is seen snogging her on-screen ‘wife’.

They were anxious to avoid offending Muslim viewers in the Far East. In Singapore, for instance, programmes ‘promoting’ same-sex relationships are banned. I wonder if the BBC would have scrapped the scene for fear of offending devout Christians in Sittingbourne...

Shouldn’t have thought so for a minute. Offending opponents of gay marriage is probably why they included the scene in the first place.

What puzzles me is why the producers would want to peddle a lesbian storyline in a series aimed primarily at children [Eh?].

Still, there does seem to be a statutory clause at the BBC which demands gay themes in all drama output. For the record, I couldn’t care less. But what does making the lizard lady a lesbian actually add to the show?

I’ve always thought the Doctor was asexual, not that I’ve watched Dr Who since he was played by Patrick Troughton.

No doubt they’re planning to ‘out’ him as a Friend of Dorothy in the next series, the one in which the Daleks turn their talents to soft furnishing and the Cybermen are all revealed to be closet Judy Garland fans.

Doctor Who: One In A Million

Several complaints have been made to the TV watchdog Ofcom over the gay kiss on Doctor Who.

The British science fiction drama came under fire after Madame Vastra and her wife Jenny locked lips in front of 7 million viewers in the UK.

Angry viewers decided to write to Ofcom as they felt the kiss was ‘inappropriate’ to have on before 9pm, the watershed in the UK. The watchdog received six complaints...

Gay Star News.

How many times!!?

If over seven million people watched the programme, then only six people complaining is statistically insignificant.

It's actually less than one in a million.

Given those odds, a monkey could have dialled Ofcom by mistake.

Probably.

Further, some people will be offended and complain about anything.

Just take a look at Twitter, it won't take a minute to find someone who's OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED by any gaiety on TV, or, say, the sandwich they just bought for lunch.

Only a provincial pearl-clutching prissy panic-mongerer would think this non-story is newsworthy.

But that's Gay Star News for you - it's like a gay Daily Mail written by naff 12 year-olds.

Update: Ofcom responds; We don't give a fuck about this either. 

'Having assessed the complaints, we can confirm that they do not raise issues warranting further investigation.

'Our rules do not discriminate between scenes featuring opposite sex and same sex couples.'

Update 2: Compare this OUTRAGE to the 600 people complained to the BBC about that baked alaska thing on Great British Bake Off!

Doctor Who: Who Me?

"I do think it’s well over-time to have a female Doctor Who. I think a gay, black female Doctor Who would be the best of all."

Helen Mirren - she's a national treasure, saint etc etc - on Daybreak earlier, quoted in the Daily Express (and here, there and bleedin' everywhere).
The dame was saying how she doesn't want to be the next Doctor.
I'd love to see the Express's horror if the next Dr Who was a black lesbian.
Wanda Sykes would make a great Doctor, though.
Come on the BBC!

Update: Paramount once proposed making a Doctor Who movie with Michael Jackson in the lead. Well, two out of three ain't bad...