Keith Vaz: Saint Peter Speaks

Independent.

'Who shall we get to talk about this?'

'Well, it's a gay story, so... Peter Tatchell!'

'But I don't think he knows much about it.'

'Prfft. He's the go-to guy on any gay story.'

'But he'll just say his usual boring sanctimonious banalities.'

'Yeah, I know. But we usually get away with it.'

'OK. Pub?'

'Pub.'