Papal Visit: What The Papers Say

Today's news: The pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the fucking pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope, the pope...
Part of the point of Pope Benedict's visit is to beatify Cardinal Newman - the irony of his holiness making a gay man a saint has not been lost on several commentators.
Although confirmed spinster Ann Widdecombe presented a programme on BBC2 yesterday evening, Newman - Saint Or Sinner?, which but of course roundly dismissed the scurrilous rumours about the late confirmed bachelor.
Anyway, it was news to me that the act that has sped Mr Newman on towards sainthood is that a man called Jack Sullivan claims to have prayed to him and "miraculously" found his backache had been cured.
Great news about your back, Jack, but if you really believe that's true it's your mental health I'd be worried about.

Religious News: Cardinal Newman

Cardinal Newman - a funny old Catholic chap who lived with another man he was ever so close to for 32 years, but they didn't have sex, oh you know, about to be beatified by the Pope - was definitely not gay, claims Opus Dei fan on Cif this week.
Dr Jeffrey John - a funny looking CofE chap who has lived with another man he's ever so close to for 34 years, but they don't have sex - was definitely not blocked by the Archbishop of Canterbury from becoming Bishop of Southwark because he was gay, claims bishop on CiF this week.

Religious joke corner
What's the difference between a gay saint and a gay martyr?
About 150 years.
Boom boom!