Patrick Smugtwit: Introducing Our New Columnist

Peter Tatchell's a national treasure, isn't he? Various other wet liberal banalities. Gay marriage - I say yes! I never went to public school or nuffink, though. I read something in The Daily Mail, but didn't bother checking it. Imagine if they said that about Muslims. Can you make sure you print my photo? Blah blah blah.

Thank you.
Patrick - who has won several awards for being insufferably smug, vain and boring - will be writing a column on hot gay topics of the day every Friday.